Granola Republican was born in the south suburbs of Chicago to a large extended of family of Italian Democrats. He considered becoming a Roman Catholic priest until he met his wife on the first day of orientation at Liberal Arts College. His goals in life have been to be Farmer Grover, Fox Mulder, and Wesley from the Princess Bride. After abandoning a career as a teacher, he is now a low-level government cog.
He has a wife and a dog, both of whom find him distasteful.
*Any thoughts on this page are completely his own, and do not (necessarily) reflect those of any of his employers, current, past, future, or future perfect.